Saffron Watson

Monday, 24 July 2017

My Grad Ball | In Review

If you haven't seen on my social media I've recently graduated from University, and had my Grad Ball.

I was a bit sceptical about attending my ball, it's more the price that was concerning me. Starting from £35 - £45 each just for entry, or to help cover the attractions inside. However, any other day of the week the Students Union is free to enter...

I spoke to my parents about it and they convinced me to go as I only get to do this once, and therefor had to convince Connor to come with me too!

A little shout out to the lovely ladies at Diamond Quays in Fareham for doing my make up and hair for Grad Ball, it took a weight off of my shoulders and I was in love with how dolled up they made me!

The theme for the evening was "Spring into Summer, Fall into Winter"...not much of a specific theme in my eyes, but each room had a different season. My favourite was the big white marque decked out as Winter named 'Ice Palace', I loved the decorations and the fairy lights! They had live music acts on until 10pm then the silent disco started.

I didn't take too many photos I'm afraid as I wanted it to sink in that this was my last piece of university. Most of the union was draped in white fabric which did add a bit of mystery and it didn't look like the union by day. It was nice that there were different rooms to go to and little sitting areas, dotted around.

I loved that there were two backdrops for the photo booth (The Photo Lounge), one was summer and the other winter (as seen above). There were lots of props to choose from, but I panicked for original ideas for the four poses, and we had ten seconds in-between to change props. Connor made me laugh so much when he put on the goggles and rug he said "I can't see??!!" and I was creasing! They print out one copy there and then and the rest went up on their Facebook page the next day.

It was nice to see my peers all glammed up and have some good byes and see you soons, but in a way the event didn't feel as formal as we were dressed up to be. It was quite clubby, and in certain areas it was so crowded and a bit awkward to actually move around the building. However I'd say our favourite part was the Bandeoke in what was the Waterhole Bar but was transformed into An Ode To Autumn. If you haven't heard of Bandeoke before, it's where they have a band and a list of songs they can play and you go up and pick one of them to sing, so a more sophisticated karaoke. Connor and I were laughing so much at the drunkards getting up there and not singing along in time, but good on them for having the courage to do that!

All in all I feel if there was a bit more formality to the event and a bit more space as it gets quite cramped in there quickly! And of course it would have been nicer if it was a tad cheaper, as the whole graduation week and not to mention the whole process of going to University is so expensive, it would've been nice to have gotten a little bit more back...

I loved getting dressed up one more time for a University event with Connor. I started University with him, and I've finished it with him as well, and it's been the best experience to have had my boyfriend and best friend with me on this journey.

Let me know what your Grad Ball was like, or if you're excited for yours!

So long University!

Love Saffron x

Monday, 10 July 2017

Embroidered Shirt Shoot

If you've seen one of my latest Instagram posts (or the amount of coffee I consumed over a few weeks) I recently completed a placement at a production company. I wanted to look smart so I bought a few things from;, Primark, M&S and F&F at Tesco.

Before my placement started I wanted to have a little shoot to show off my favourite finds, and my willing photographer/boyfriend and I went on a scout for photogenic locations.

Embroidered Shirt - Primark
Bag - Primark
Jeggings - F&F at Tesco
Boots -

I really enjoyed this shoot. I'm not a very photogenic person and most times I avoid having my photo taken by other people. Although I'm not the most confident with my physical appearance, I am working on it. I was quite surprised at how much I loved these photos, I hope to be doing some more exciting shoots in the future, and maybe have some more confidence!

Where else to find me

Connor's Social Media Links:

Twitter: @iamconnorcleary
Instagram: @IamConnorCleary

Saffron x

Monday, 3 July 2017

July Giveaway!

When I hit 1,000 followers on Twitter, I mentioned doing a giveaway as a HUGE thank you to all of you who follow and interact with me. I got busy with university work, completed a placement and I've been working a lot.

Now here I am announcing the giveaway! I currently have 1,242 followers and I feel so lucky to have reached these milestones. This giveaway is to celebrate my small successes on social media, and to treat ONE lucky follower with goodies!

So we've got three face masks from Superdrug's own range, the two NEW LIMITED EDITION nail varnishes from Barry M with Boots (Stargazer and Shipwreck) which are a lovely mixed metallic colour, Barry M Matte Me Up Lip Kit in Runway and my favourite compact mirror in the shape of a mermaid shell from New Look.

All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning is to be following me on Twitter @SaffronWatson_ and retweet my pinned tweet.

-Quotes won't be counted.
-Must be following me.
-Giveaway is UK only.
-Giveaway ends 3/8/17 at 6pm.

Good Luck!

Love Saffron x

Sunday, 18 June 2017

The Truth About Uni | Finishing My Degree

So this is possibly my last post with the student collab. The reason being that I've finished my degree, I've had all my grades back and I'm now preparing for graduation. I've really loved being a part of this collaboration and talking to the other bloggers involved.

Even though my last deadline was well over a month ago, there's no instant relief when you hand in your last piece of work. Yes, there might not be any actual work to do anymore but I had nightmares about my grades, and which units I passed etc. Not fun. But now that I've got all of my concrete grades, I do have a bit of relief that I've officially passed everything and got the grade I wanted. I'm sure it'll hit me when I'm walking across the stage in my cap and gown!

Now that the hard part is over, the even harder bit is round the corner. Getting a job! I've applied for countless jobs and even training schemes to not hear back. There's so many other graduates, previous graduates and even those who didn't extend their education going for these roles. What matters a lot to employers is your experience. There's some stressful times, but it's figuring out how to use your time wisely and effectively which could help you get employed.

It is nice to have a bit of freedom, I can work more or less if I want to. I can blog more, spend time with my parents and my friends. But there is the worry of money, of wanting to get into the film and TV industry hanging over my head, but I'm trying to enjoy myself and unwind a little bit. It's been really hard for me to complete my degree, and I do need to accept that I'm a little fragile and probably shouldn't jump into anything too soon.

I'll admit that sometimes I look back on university, and I have rose tinted glasses on. I have hated university so much that I've wanted to quit, at times it's been too much for my mental health and I've struggled to cope. If I hadn't gone to a university close to home, then I'm sure I would've quit. By being close to my family they supported me and helped me complete my degree. I do have to laugh at myself when I think I'll miss university, I'd rather be in the real world moving on with my life than do more further education.

I have learnt a lot whilst being at university, about myself and life lessons. I found out that I shouldn't be turning away from my parents, that actually it's ok to lean on and need your parents. I've been in and out of debt, and I know that I never want to be in debt again! I've also learnt a fair bit about the TV and film industry and luckily by using the university resources I got to experience being on a film set, at a production company and work with the university filming and editing videos for clients.

Even though I really didn't enjoy university, I worked hard to make the most of it, and to find the opportunities I needed in those three years to build my portfolio.

I still have a few university related posts up my sleeves, so this won't be the last one I assure you!

I wish the rest of the lovely bloggers in the collab all the best and look forward to reading the rest of their journey's!

Jasmine from Thoughts From Jasmine (she brought us all together)

Jen from Velvet Spring

Becky from The Owlet

Annaleid from Actually Anna

Sophie from The Glamour Reel

Katherine from Millennial Rants

Tori from Legally Brunette

Love Saffron x

Saturday, 10 June 2017

Grab A Cuppa

If you haven't tried Coffee #1 you're missing out, especially their caramel macchiato.
I'm thinking of turning this into a series of posts where I open up about thoughts and feelings I've been having. I've been wanting to be more open and honest on my blog for a while now, and even on Twitter I've been trying to talk about issues that are important to me.

I've had a post in my drafts for a while about Feeling Lost At 21, but it's more than just feeling lost.

I advise you to grab a cuppa with me while I talk through what's been playing on my mind. I will section up topics as best I can, so if you get bored you can skip to the next topic (how nice am I?).

Feeling like a failure

This is something that's rooted within me, I've always had high expectations of myself and I always want to please others, and if I don't...I have failed. If I forget something; I have failed. If I don't make a phone call or write an email; I have failed. If I can't meet with friends; I have failed. If I can't bear to go outside; I have failed.

I thought that I'd stopped doing this when I was receiving counselling for anxiety and depression. I've only recently realised that I'm still doing it. When I feel like I've failed I get so frustrated at myself, this then turns into a downward spiral fuelling my depressive side.

I need to stop putting myself on a pedestal that I can't reach, I expect so much of myself when I just can't and I make my mental health even worse.

My depression 

Recently I've started taking part in mental health chats on Twitter, and I love getting involved in lots of chats but especially talking about mental health. It makes you realise you're not alone, and I love to try and help others who are still struggling. Some of the first questions are usually about if you've been diagnosed with a mental illness. I usually reply that I have generalised anxiety disorder and that they also diagnosed me with depression. My thoughts on the latter are usually that I don't have it anymore, or it's not as bad, or it comes and goes like waves.

I've come to the conclusion that I think I've always had it. I do have short periods of my life in which I feel happy, but it never lasts long. I don't like to spend too much time alone because I don't like my own company, I often don't like myself at all. If I'm alone too much I do become depressed and helpless.

It doesn't help when you always feel worthless or like a failure on a day to day basis. I feel like if I don't talk about being depressed or even my anxiety people often forget I still have it. It doesn't go away, trust me I've tried fixing myself, or "curing" myself and there's no quick solution. It's frustrating that people don't take into account my mental health sometimes, I don't want to be treated differently or have special treatment. I just want people to remember that I'm not ok, and maybe just check in every once and a while and listen to me ramble over a cuppa.

When people ask me how I am, I reply "not too bad" but most times I want to say that I'm not ok. But, that's far too deep a conversation to get into when you pass someone in the hallway, on the street, at work or at the pub.

Why am I not ok?

Reasons why I'm not ok:

Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Loss, Self-hate, Weight, Uncertainty, Pressure, Money, Work

If you add all of that up I'm sure we can all agree it equals not being ok. With graduating on the horizon and my part time job isn't 100% stable at the moment I've got a lot of stressful thoughts roaming around my mind.

I've applied for a total of TWENTY JOBS so far and I've heard nothing back. I've tried re-working my CV but I'm not confident about it, I don't have enough "credits" for it to sell what I can do. I also can't drive yet and almost every single job requires you to drive, or be 23 or 25 for insurance purposes. It's really off putting that I can't apply for these jobs because I can't drive or I'm not based in London.

I don't often realise how stressed and anxious I am, I used to get physical symptoms; high heart rate, sickness, IBS/poorly tummy. I got better at coping with the physical symptoms but sometimes I can't control the invisible symptoms. These can be just my mood, how I talk to people, and lack of motivation to name a few.

It feels like there's so much to do it's unbearable, everything is out of my control or far ahead in front of me. This causes my anxiety to act up because I'm not in control of my future.

So what now?

Right now I'm trying not to give up hope. I'm looking forward to graduating, and it's been nice to not have that workload on my shoulders. But I'm still anxiously waiting to get my grades back. I'm trying to keep busy so that I don't work myself into a post-graduate depression, because that is a real thing that everyone experiences.

I want to focus on my blog, getting myself together and trying to enjoy life a bit more. I tend to hole myself up almost like a vampire that I forget how beautiful the sunset looks. And of course job hunting for a 'proper job' but I shouldn't get my hopes up. Plus my film is getting some finishing touches before releasing it into the wild world of film festivals.

I recently binge watched Girl Boss on Netflix and absolutely loved it, completely recommend if you haven't seen it yet!

Sorry for being a bit absent, I hope all of you are ok!

Love Saffron x


Sunday, 14 May 2017

The Truth About University | Workload

This is the fifth instalment of the student blogger collab, this week it's all about university workload.

When I was at college I could manage to workload of preparing for exams and completing essays (just about), albeit sometimes I was a bit lazy...

When I started university I was quite care free and happy, I suppose I might've had minimal effort as you'll hear this phrase circle quite a lot "you only have to pass first year". I would like to shut down this known phrase to university students, if you don't put in your all you won't receive an awful lot. I did ok in some units but if I had tried harder and watched less Netflix I might've done better.

The purpose of trying harder is to see what grades you can achieve, plus each year the workload gets more intense. I know that each course is different, whether you're doing a creative or academic course they both can be hard and demanding.

My advice to you (if you're a student or about to be one) is to look up all of your deadlines and what each deadline requires of you. My university give out these free academic wall planners, if you can get one of those or make one yourself to map out how much time you have per deadline. It'll also feel amazing when you start to tick off your deadlines!

When I had my dissertation I would start crossing off the days that had passed, it might sound a bit delusional to count down the days that I didn't have to finish. But, I found that adding that small bit of fear made me try a lot harder.

University isn't a joke and should be taken seriously, but you should know when you let loose and have breaks as well. Some people go through university constantly partying and only focusing on the social aspect, I'm not saying to ignore it, but it's not the whole reason why you're there and getting stupidly in debt!

Every year I tell myself that I'm going to keep on top of my work...and every year I more or less fail at doing so. I hate to admit the amount of times I've been doing work the night before a deadline, and every time I do it I kick myself for not being organised!

I know for some people that they can handle workloads and get high marks, so it does depend on your own ability and you need to work round that, and ask for help if you need it. There are loads of places for support at university, you just have to ask.

Let me know if you've got any advice on workloads!

I'm currently doing work for my last submission...which is tomorrow...I never learn!

Saffron x

Sunday, 7 May 2017

A Letter To My Granny

Dear Granny,

It's a bit strange writing to you when you're not here anymore, but it reminds me of the letters and notes we'd write to each other. Like the one I wrote to you when I was too poorly to come and see you in hospital as I didn't want to make you any worse. I wrote about the time you saw a runner in the Great South Run in a lime green mankini and you didn't stop laughing for the rest of the day, and in turn made me laugh with you.

It hasn't gotten any easier now that a year has passed. I hate to think of you sometimes, because the thought that you're not here brings me to tears and it's too upsetting. I've learned that grief isn't easy, and you were such a big character that there's a huge hole in my life.

You were such a lovely lady and you didn't deserve to be in pain, so I often try to think of you at rest. I don't know if there is an after life, if there is I hope you've got your feet up reading a book, doing a crossword, cigarette in hand. If you're there with Grandad I expect you're embarrassing him, as he used to roll his eyes at you, but I always found you hilarious.

I started to write a post at the end of last year about you, and I stopped writing mid-sentence because it was still too raw, it's hard to write about you even now.

A lot has happened in the past year, not all good things I'm afraid. Part of the reason I have the strength to carry on is because I think of you, I think of how proud I want you to be of me, if you can see me. I want to succeed and be a good person, I know you were proud of me for going to university but I had wished I made more time for you. If I'm completely honest, I would've rather have watched bargain hunt or homes under the hammer with the subtitles on with you any day of the week than do university.

I'm sorry I let my social anxieties get the better of me, and didn't come to see you as often as I could have. As I learned I had no trouble coming to see you in the hospital, and I know it doesn't make up for it as I still feel guilty now. But I did all I could in those last few months, I didn't want you to be alone and I wanted to help in any way possible.

I always imagined you at my twenty first birthday, at my graduation, my wedding maybe even when I had children. I never thought you would pass so soon, I wasn't ready at all.

A year ago today I was about to be on my way to see you in the hospice when I had some missed calls. My mum phoned me to tell me that my dad needed to talk to me. It wasn't good as you will know. I stood in my bedroom opposite Connor as he awaited my reply, I tried to be strong but I couldn't. It feels like a part of me has been ripped away, like I haven't been the same since.

I think in the back of my mind I was still hoping you'd miraculously get better, which was wrong of me to give myself false hope. We do that stupid thing of looking back and thinking what we could do differently, but unfortunately I think there was nothing we could do. For some reason you had to go.

If you hadn't guessed by now, I miss you. A lot. It still hurts to say your name and to talk about you.

I never got to tell you that I was changing my name. A few years ago you told me how you wished one of the grandchildren had the middle name "Rose" like yours. I thought for a while about what you said, I changed my name on Facebook to "Saffron Amy-Rose Watson" and it wasn't until you were poorly that I realised you didn't know this. I thought that this was perhaps the perfect time to officially change it and show you. I started the process and paid for it etc it was nearly finalised, and then you were gone.

I still haven't dotted the i's or crossed the t's because I'm afraid that that's the end. I feel like it almost has no purpose that I can't tell you that I did it for you. I guess now's a better time than any to pick up where I left off and finish it for you. That way I will always carry a piece of you with me.

I find that sometimes I need days where I cry and need to let it out, but I also need to pick myself back up and LIVE. I'm not going to make you proud by sitting around in a hoodie and jogging bottoms binge watching Netflix am I?

My promise to you is that I will make something of myself, I will be happy and I will finish my name change.

Where ever you are, I just hope you're at peace now, that's all I can ask for.

I can still hear your voice and see memories of you which I'll cherish forever.

I love you lots,

Saffron xxx
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